I wondered for a long time just how the early patriarchal clans managed to turn women against themselves. How did vengeful, warring cultures convince Goddess-worshiping people that a hierarchy exists between the sexes with women firmly on the bottom? It took a lot of time, of course, that much we can learn through archeology. But it wasn't until last night that I really felt I understood the psychological anatomy of this conquest. I read recently in Restoring the Goddess that patriarchal cultures take advantage of feminine aspects, refusing to acknowledge or respect their worth in the meantime. I know everybody's not as generous and nurturing as I am. Unlike a lot of others, I don't want to have children of my own, but I understand the pull to create new things, being a writer, etc. I feel very strongly that this is exactly how the conquest was carried out. Women, feeling safe and secure in matriarchal society, would have been generous, fun-loving caretakers. Giving and receiving would have been natural and rewarding. But between then and the new feminist movements gaining momentum now, a lot of women have been asked or coerced into giving while they get nothing positive in return. When we enter school, we immediately start learning to categorize and subsequently to make a hierarchy of our world. With this kind of thinking in place, it's so easy for the socioreligious ideas to take root. And it seems natural at first, but the further you get from Judeo-Christian values, the further you can get from putting one thing higher than another.
This is why it's so damn difficult for many men, even those who are kind and well-meaning toward women, to embrace the feminist and/or Goddess movements. They assume we see things the same way patriarchy does: that lifting one up means destroying the other. It's hard for them to grasp our concepts because they aren't well known or widely celebrated. We believe in equality, which means men and women together, not all women with no men. (It didn't work the other way around; why would we try it that way?) We believe in putting forth effort into others and in this lifetime instead of letting the world blow up because you think it'll get you somewhere good. We're so far outside of patriarchy's box that a lot of people should be scared, but only those who base and brace themselves on those who currently have little or no power. It might be easy to smirk and swagger and put on a show when you don't think you'll be reprimanded or when you think you've got a higher power's permission. But in a legitimate matriarchy, nobody would encourage that behavior, nobody would swoon at it, and nobody would be fooled into thinking that person had confidence.
I found myself in an argument last night where some guy tried to submit as evidence of women's vulgarity an incident I, at the time, knew nothing about. He said I'd be surprised at what women say these days because Jane Fonda had said "cunt" on live TV. I was pretty sure it was being taken out of context, and when I looked it up this morning, it really proves how little the feminist movement is understood. In the first place, Jane Fonda and Eve Ensler were seated side by side as guests on the Today Show because of it being V-Day for Valentines, Vaginas, and Victory. In the second place, the interviewer asked Ms. Fonda a direct question about her experience with the Vagina Monologues. Ms. Fonda's answer was an anecdote about a piece from the Monologues entitled "Cunt." If you don't want to hear about women's private places, you don't invite two feminists to discuss the Vagina Monologues! For everyone who still thinks this was a classless move, there's more to consider. #1: Men's privates get talked about everywhere all the time. Let's stop acting like it's inappropriate to talk about biology. #2: It's not what you say but how you say it. Ms. Fonda was referencing the title of something, not calling anybody a cunt out of hatred. #3: African Americans get to say the "n" word. Feminists get to say cunt. #4: I'll be looking further into this, trust me: The word cunt originally had a highly positive meaning for women before coming to mean something bad. Therefore, feminist use of it is a means of reclaiming its original meaning as a word and fending off the more recent connotations. #5: In the true spirit of the Monologues not to mention feminism, to back down from using the word cunt probably didn't cross Ms. Fonda's mind.
True, she could have said something general about having misgivings about the name of the piece and left it unnamed. But either she made an honest mistake and/or she thought America was way more mature than it is. If anything about the whole scenario was classless, it was the other clip I found where Dave Letterman roasts Ms. Fonda over his Top 10 List. The only reason I can think of that he would do this is to laugh off a situation that really made him--or at least other members of his writing staff--very, very uncomfortable. I'll give you a Top 10 List, Mr. Letterman:
The Top 10 Reasons Jane Fonda Really Said Cunt On The Today Show
10. So little girls can be told they can be doctors and lawyers, too, not just baby factories.
9. So female masturbation can be as celebrated and recognized as its male counterpart.
8. So there aren't any words left that can be used against women by either sex.
7. So people can't pretend the vagina doesn't exist except when they want it to bring them pleasure.
6. So we can see America's true values: keeping sex and the female body hidden while we go to war and ignore the mass murders in Darfur.
5. So that someday, all women will be able to voice their feelings from wishes to concerns.
4. So that everyone will see that strong women exist in this country today; we're not all floormats.
3. So that women and their bodies will be respected and praised no matter their height and weight, thus increasing confidence, decreasing eating disorders, and changing the face of advertising.
2. So that future generations don't have to fight this oppression all over again, but that we keep moving forward.
1. So that everyone remembers IT'S JUST A WORD to which we assign the meaning as humans, and so it can eventually go back to its original purpose.
